This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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