Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
