He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize