i was born a porn star she said
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
is that a dick in a sweater?
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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