So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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