sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
