did you get engaged???
I'm jealous of your bromance
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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