I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Who died my cat blue again?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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