I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
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