and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
