We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
