try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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