i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
