i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
