I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
