i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
