New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
