is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
