Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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