sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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