Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
