my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Randomize
