from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
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