Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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