he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
