oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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