Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Randomize
