I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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