Sponge bath it is.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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