So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
