Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Can you bring me the toilet please
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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