we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
