you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
