Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
