epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Randomize
