I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Hippo gnu deer
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
