It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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