so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
