I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize