I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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