i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
