In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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