my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
