I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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