now i know why i became what i already was.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize