we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
