Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
