can we get nightvision for the apartment?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I think I sprained my soul last night
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
