conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize