what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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