I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
