sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Someone came in the potted fern
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
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