I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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