So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
