WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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