So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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