Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
